"Be Patient With Yourself"

"Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." - Mat 7:13-14 (even fewer, who after found it, willing to walk and go in by it.)

If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all efforts of worth and excellence are difficult. The christian life is gloriously difficult, but its difficulty does not make us faint and cave in-it stirs us up to overcome.

These are the opening lines found in "My Utmost For His Highest", July 7 passage. And I totally agree that a Christian walk is tough and difficult. But we all should relished all challenges (in order to be God's holy people) in the name of our Lord. And we had received the motivation and the power we needed to overcome the world in our Lord's death and resurrection. I mean Our Lord,Jesus Christ had paid a hefty price in order to redeem us all. But are we willing to pay the high price of giving up our rights to live our lives back to God,Who loves us?

I struggled alot for the past few days. Struggled to be holy in my thoughts,words and actions. And failed. Inevitably, I was disappointed with myself. And sometimes, disappointment can be so dangerous. Therefore, I realised that Disappointment is one of the devil's favourite weapon when we failed to deal with it with God's love. Mr S.A Tan loves to use disappointment to draw us away from God or even,.. abandon God! That is why some of our friends had chose to leave God. Because of hardships and disappointments and also, believing in a lie that they are not worthy to be Christian. Who is worthy to be Christian? You tell me. We are not perfect. But if we are willing to repent and change for God, that is enough. And one day, I believed, we will be like Christ. However, this process could be a gradual one and might even last til we meet God face to face. But, take heart, He is love and His mercy remains.

Back to my story, I was really disappointed and heard the devil's cries. He lied to me that The Way is really tough and I will not be able to change. So why not leave behind all the hardships and "foolishness" and enter the broad road where you will most likely be more happy as you can do whatever you like. Then God intervened. He encourages me and I told myself that I will not give up (transforming myself to be like Christ) because He never give up on me. And He said to me: "Be patient with yourself." And my heart stop condemning me and I could move on. (As my heart was condemning me, I could only stop and stare at the world and life. I could moved but only like a zombie, moving aimlessly. Therefore, I thank God that these movements wasn't long. Just a few steps but surely enough to scare me as I tasted how it was like to live life without any purposes. The feeling was terrible.)

It is true that I was too eager to change all of my old-self for God in a short time. I heed God's advice and realised that it works. I am changing inwardly everyday. Like we all know and I always like to say, "No one remains the same after meeting/speaking to God. And when God speaks, we will never be the same again."

Revelations came after my reflections (on what I have been through) and I realised that its good to have struggles and face them. Because after overcoming each struggle, we will grow in stature and wisdom. So, we all need struggles in order to grow.

Embrace them.

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One Who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." - 1 John 4:4